Random thoughts

• I'm often driving around, and I'll see a random shoe laying beside the road. Where did this shoe come from, why is it there, and where is the other shoe?


• What purpose does poison ivy/oak serve? I hate mosquitoes, but I realize that something out there probably eats them (you know, the whole food chain thing). But to the best of my knowledge, nothing eats poison ivy, and it certainly doesn't eat anything else, so why is it here? Is it just to make me miserable?


• Why is toilet paper so expensive? Really, it's just paper (albeit rather soft paper) that is designed to wipe your butt and be thrown away. It serves no other purpose, so why does it cost so much? This goes right along with diapers... Again, the sole purpose is to catch baby poo and get tossed.


• Why are hotels so expensive? I mean really, why should it cost me a minimum of $80 to have a place to sleep, pee, and take a shower? Nothing else is included in that cost... No food, drinks, or otherwise - well, maybe the tiny bottles of shampoo and soap, but that's it... And I bring my own, thank you!


• How is it that a person that is so tiny can need so much stuff? Emma is the smallest member of our household, but yet, when we go anywhere, we have to take more stuff for her than anyone else in the house. I can't even go to visit my mother without the diaper bag, bottle bag, burp cloth, baby food, spoons, bib, travel swing and/or bouncy seat... oh yeah, and the baby.


• How come the month after I bought an SUV, gas went up to $4.50 a gallon?


• Where are the cops when some idiot goes screaming by you in the turn lane at 90 mph, talking/texting on his cell phone, flipping you off, and runs the red light at the next intersection?


• What is the purpose of the yellow TDOT trucks? They're supposed to be there in case your car breaks down, you have a flat tire, or you run out of gas, BUT there's no way to call them if you need them, and inevitably, they're on the other side of the interstate if you do.


• Why is it that every time I think I'm getting caught up with the bills and I'll have some extra money, I get the bill for the car insurance, or the tag renewals, or the deposit for after school care?


• Why is baby formula so expensive? Have you read the ingredient label? The number one ingredient is corn syrup solids. Yeah, that's it. So why does it cost a minimum of $16 a can (and that's for generic!!)?


• What exactly is imitation crab meat?


• Why is it that when I finally get a day to sleep late, I wake up at 7:00 am? And why is it that I have to drag the kids out of bed during the week, but on the weekends, they pop up bright and early?


• How is it possible that tea has more caffeine than Coke?


• Why is all of the really tasty food bad for you?


• Why couldn't I live in the Middle Ages when being fat was a sign of wealth and royalty?


• Why is it that I only crave fattening foods when I decide to go on a diet?


• Have you ever noticed that you only catch the really long red lights when you're already late? Or is it that you just notice it more?

Life...slipping away before my very eyes

I think I'm getting old. Not that this has come as any great shock to me (seeing that I'm 34 years old now), but I just don't feel old... Well, I take that back. Sometimes I feel old. There are just things that I've noticed over time that make me realize that if I'm not there yet, old age is rapidly approaching.

The first time I felt really like a geezer, I was a mere 21 years old. At the time, I was the manager at Baskin Robbins in the mall. Of course, every kid that ever thought about looking for a job thought that selling ice cream at the mall would be the coolest job (and I must say, it really was better than pushing greasy fast food). So anyway, a kid came in with a job application, and he was born in 1980. I nearly died!! The kid wasn't even born in the same decade as me!!! I know that he was only five years younger than me, but it had never really even crossed my mind that someone that was born in 1980 would be old enough to have a job. That just sounded so young to me!

When I was 22, I plucked my very first gray hair. You know how people always reminisce about where they were when...? Well, I remember finding my first gray hair like it was some earth shattering event. Chris and I had just started dating, and we had gone to Hilton Head. He was in the bait shop buying squid (how romantic...), and he was taking me on my very first ocean fishing trip. I was sitting in his little Nissan pick-up truck, and I pulled down the visor mirror to take a look - remember, we had just started dating, and this was back in the day that I actually cared about my appearance. Now after 11 years of marriage, he's seen me at my worst! But anyway, there I was, making sure that I was looking presentable, and I saw IT. My first gray hair! I was completely traumatized! (I have so many now, there's no point in even worrying about it any more.

It wasn't long after that when Chris and I got married. One night, we were having date night at the movies. It was somewhere in the dead of winter, and it was really cold outside. We were sitting at a table in the lobby before the movie started, and in comes this girl, I'm guessing she was maybe 15 or 16 years old, wearing men's work pants and a cropped shirt. She had her belly button pierced (did I mention that it was the middle of winter and her stomach was hanging out??), and her black bra straps were showing through her white shirt. I looked at Chris, and I said those deadly old words... "Our kids will NEVER leave the house dressed like that." There it is people! I had officially crossed over...

So my sister is almost seven years older than me, and she was warning me about all of this. She told me that when I turned 30, my body would completely fall apart. (I guess I need to ask her what happens at 40, now that she's hit that lovely milestone...) Well guess what? I didn't even make it to 30! I was 28 when I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis. Yeah, that was a great day at my house...

On top of all of that, I've noticed other things. When I lived with my parents, my mother drove me NUTS! Once I moved out, I realized that the reason that she made me crazy was because I'm just like her! I've found myself saying things to my kids that I swore I'd never say. Things that she used to say to me that I hated, and I swore I'd NEVER say to my kids...

Everyone always used to tell me that time goes by so fast, and the older you get the faster it goes. I didn't get that at the time. When you're a kid, time just drags. It seemed like I was never going to turn 16, or 18, or 21... And when I was 16, 18 was old. When I was 18, 21 was old. Now that I'm a geezer, 95 is old...but I digress... When I was a kid, the school year seemed to drag on for an eternity. Now, I blink and a year has gone by, and I don't know where it went! I'm convinced that some of that has to do with payday (living paycheck to paycheck will do that to you-but then that's MY fault...), and the rest has to do with being a parent. I just had Forrest yesterday, and he's going to be EIGHT YEARS OLD in two weeks... AND he's starting THIRD GRADE next month!! And Emma cut her first tooth last week! What's wrong with this picture??

But all of that being said, I still feel like I've been wishing my life away. I'm horrible with money (thank you God for giving me a husband with financial sense...), so I feel like I really am living paycheck to paycheck. Before I have even gotten one check deposited, I'm already balancing the checkbook to see how much money I'll have after the next payday. That's one thing that makes time go by so fast. Then there's the weekends. I spend the whole work week looking forward to the weekend, which always goes by entirely too fast. On Mondays, it's right back to looking forward to the weekend again... And let's don't forget vacation. It's only the second week of July, and I'm already looking forward to our vacation in August. It's no wonder time is flying! As my wonderful husband likes to say, I can feel my arteries hardening at night...

Shock and sadness

I was in a melancholy mood when I wrote this, so it's rather depressing. Consider yourself warned...

So unless you're living in a remote cave somewhere in the middle of nowhere, you've heard that Michael Jackson has passed away. It's not like I knew him personally or anything, but I must say, I was still shocked and saddened by the news. It's amazing how someone that you didn't even know can make you feel that way. I mean really, they're just ordinary people. They just happen to be entertainers of whom you have enjoyed their talents in some form or fashion over the years. When I was little, Michael Jackson was THE MAN! Billie Jean was the very first song that I ever learned to words to (which looking back at the lyrics, that probably wasn't such a good thing...), and the very first concert that I ever went to was the Thriller tour (but I think they called it the Victory tour, or something like that). I had a HUGE crush on the cutest boy in my third grade class, who was the COOLEST kid because he had the red leather jacket with all of the studs and zippers. I even stayed on the waiting list at the library for the entire summer, just so I could read the Michael Jackson biography.

Over the years, there have been many people in and out of my life that have passed away. Other than grandparents, I have been fortunate not to lose anyone close to me. I am not ready to deal with the loss of my parents (or, for that matter, anyone else close to me), but I know that with their age and health issues that this is imminent in the coming years. This is my tribute to those that have gone on, but had some impact on me for one reason or another. Some of these brought out a sad "awwww," and some of these drew a horrified gasp. I didn't know any of them personally, but their deaths affected me in some way just the same...

Then there are the ones that only became well known in their deaths, like Laci Peterson, or locally, Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom. And finally, there are the ones that aren't celebrities at all, but I cried for days at their deaths.

I still cry when I see the footage and photos, even after all of these years. My heart breaks for the families that lost someone. Probably the worst things that I've ever seen in my lifetime, and hopefully, that I will ever see. I'll never forget them...

Ahhh the beach...and Charleston...

I LOVE the beach! I have a few theories as to why I love it so much. Maybe it's because we never went when I was a kid. I can remember going maybe two times ever for our family vacations. Most of the time, we went to Texas to visit my mom's family, but even that was rare. We usually just stayed home. Maybe I love it so much because I associate it with all good things. Whenever I go to the beach, it's for vacation. That means, no worries, no schedule, no getting up early... It's just rest and relaxation for an entire (-ly too short) week. I love the salt air and the sound of the waves. It's just so peaceful! There's also the matter of not having any allergies for the time that I'm there. That's just an added bonus!! I really want to move closer to the ocean, but I have this fear that once I get there, I won't love it as much. By moving there, I'll have to get a job, clean the house, and go back to the other mundane things that we all have to do in life. I'm secretly afraid that this will take the fun out of moving there. BUT that's a risk that I'm more than willing to take!

My most favorite place ever is Charleston, South Carolina. We went there for vacation as just a random pick of mine right after we were married. We couldn't agree on a place to go, so Chris just told me to pick something. I decided on Charleston because Chris is such a history nut. Little did I know how much I would LOVE it there! I almost feel like that is my home away from home. I know my way around, and I'm very comfortable there. The only problem with Charleston (for vacation) is that there are very few places to stay that are on the ocean, unless you rent one of those huge houses that sleep about 14 people. That being said, we haven't been there for the past few years since I've been trying to find places that we could stay where we can walk to the beach (with kids, it's much easier that way). But last summer, we went to Beaufort, and I spent the entire week trying to figure out a way to visit Charleston while we were there. We ended up leaving the condo that we rented at the the end of the week, and driving two hours out of our way so that I could eat lunch at Jestine's and spend the day shopping at the market.

We went to Tybee Island for vacation this summer, and it was the same thing. All I wanted to do was visit Charleston, and I thought about it the whole time we were there! Unfortunately, it wasn't in the cards for that trip, so I'm suffering from serious withdrawals!!

I think I'd rather live in Charleston than any other place I've ever been. Specifically, I want to live in Mt. Pleasant, which is a suburb of Charleston. (Did I mention that I've even picked out the neighborhood that I want to live in??) Mt. Pleasant has EVERYTHING! It's got Patriot's Point where the Yorktown is, and the Hunley will soon be. It's only a ten minute drive to the Battery with all of the beautiful homes, the market, historic churches and great restaurants. It's only ten minutes in the other direction (and across the drawbridge-how cool!) to Sullivan's Island (i.e. the beach), the lighthouse, and Ft. Moultrie. I've even picked out my ideal job... I'm all into house remodeling/flipping, and I want to work for Richard Davis at Trademark Properties. I've got it all figured out... *sigh* I wonder if I'll ever get to live there?

One tiny person, one HUGE bill!!

How is it possible that a person that is so small can cost so much money?? Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade Emma for all the rice in China, but why in the world are children so expensive?

Fortunately for me, I have health insurance, so her birth didn't set us back too much. I think that cost was around $2,000 out of pocket after it was all said and done. We were very blessed that she was born with no complications! So really, getting her here wasn't so bad. But now that she's HERE, whew!!

Daycare is obviously the biggest thorn in our sides right now. Apparently, they can't charge by the month. Oh no, they charge by the week. This ain't cheap people!! We're paying $195 a WEEK for her daycare (did I mention that we're still paying for Forrest too?)! That comes out to more than our house payment each month! Thank goodness we didn't buy a really expensive house! Just before we went out of town a few weeks ago, the daycare had a note up in the window that the "annual supply fee" of $55 was due. So I haven't bothered to pay that yet... I'm waiting until they specifically ask me for it. I know that's probably bad, but the way I see it, what supplies could they possibly need for my six month old baby that isn't covered in the $195 a week that we're already paying?? It's not like she's doing any art projects, or even that she is eating their breakfast, lunch or snacks. Oh no! I have to provide all of the food, formula, diapers AND wipes that she uses, so I'm a little raw about having to fork over more money for "supplies." If they need construction paper or paint, I'll be happy to buy some and bring it in... The last time I checked, that stuff didn't cost $55-but I digress... Oh, and did I mention that they change her diaper every hour and a half? I have actually gotten her daily activity sheet at the end of the day, and seen that at some point they changed her and she was DRY!! Now I realize that there are government regulations and all of that, but I'm not made of money. I can't be having them change her diapers when she isn't even wet!! Not only is this bad for my wallet, it's bad for the environment too!!

Then there is the formula. Emma has been taking Enfamil Gentlease formula for quite a while now. It's great stuff! She is growing so quickly, and is gaining weight, so it is doing it's job. The only problem is that it costs $26 a can (and Enfamil very rarely sends coupons), and I can't quite make it an entire week on one can. That being said, I finally had to cave in to the money gods and go generic. I was completely torn over this decision. Not because of the money aspect, but because of the safety factor. Just after she was born, several babies in China died because their formula was tainted with melamine. I shop at Wal-Mart for just about everything, but most everything in that store comes from China. I've avoided their stuff and gone with the Babies R Us generic equivalent (which, by the way, I thoroughly read every ingredient on the label to make sure that it was the same, AND I double-checked to make sure that it was made in the good ol' US of A). So far, that switch has been a good move for all involved. Emma is none the wiser, and I'm saving $10 per can. Not too shabby...

Diapers are getting me too. I guess I'd better get used to this one though. She'll be in them for, oh, probably the next two years!! I have learned some things with diapers over the years though.

1. Most generic diapers are NOT the way to go if you want to save money. I tried one pack of the Parent's Choice (Wal-Mart brand) of diapers, and they were AWFUL!! You don't end up saving any money because you end up having to change the baby so often to make sure that they don't leak!

2. Use coupons!! Huggies and Pampers put out coupons nearly every week, so I haven't bought any of them without a coupon. (I was also smart enough during my pregnancy to buy a pack of various sizes every time I went to the grocery store.) I think I'm probably permanently switching to Luvs though. The other day, I saw a pack of Huggies that, even with a coupon, was still more expensive than Luvs, and the pack was smaller.

3. My comment about generic diapers aside, the Member's Mark diapers (at Sam's) are GREAT!! I used those with Forrest, and he never got diaper rash or had even one leak. Plus, they came in a huge box since it is Sam's brand.

Lastly, I can't figure out why baby clothes are so expensive. There couldn't possibly be even a yard of fabric in some of the outfits that Emma wears (most likely even less than a yard!), so why is one outfit usually a minimum of $17?? Wonder what the markup on that is?? And you know, she can only wear it for about three months before outgrowing it... Of course, the fact that I have a girl is making that even worse because there are so many cute cute clothes for her!

I think the saddest thing of all is that I would love to have another baby, but we can't because it's way too expensive! Have you ever noticed that the people that make the most money (like Bill Gates-Brad and Angelina aside) only have one child IF they have any at all?? They're the very ones that could afford to have twenty kids if they wanted to. *sigh* Oh well... I guess that's how it goes...

But all I have to do is take one look at her, and it's all worth it...

Tune in for part two - One tiny person, so much stuff!! (You should have seen up going on vacation! The car was packed to the ceiling, and I couldn't even see out the back. We looked like the Clampetts!!)

Okay, so I'm an addict...

It's time I just came out and said it...I'm addicted...to Facebook. What an incredible invention!! The only reason that I even have a Facebook page is because a friend of mine sent me an invitation to it. At the time, I was a My Space girl. I liked My Space because I could customize the backgrounds and play music. I had also found several of my friends on there, which was really nice to be able to catch up with them. So when I got the invitation to Facebook, I politely joined, but never touched the thing again for well over a year. Finally, I decided that I would just log in and at least download a profile pic. It was all downhill from there!

Once I got started with Facebook, I never checked the My Space profile again. In fact, I finally just deleted my profile because I hadn't even looked at it in so long. There are a few cool things about My Space that Facebook doesn't do (like the backgrounds and the music), but it's not enough to hold my attention. For starters, I have found so many people on Facebook that I hadn't talked to in what seems like a hundred years! Some of them are people that I really try to keep in touch with, and some are old friends that I haven't seen in years. We may not really talk much anymore, but it's nice to be able to log in and see what's going on in their lives.

I love the status bar where you can just type in some short blurb about what you're doing or thinking. It's a great way to keep up with people without having to search through their whole profile or send some long e-mail to see what's going on. I'm also addicted to the stupid quizzes and top 10 lists too. Not that it is going to change my life in any dramatic way to find out that my color is gold, or that if I was a gemstone, I would be an amethyst. It's just fun to see how these things turn out (the risk of computer viruses aside).

Facebook CAN have it's downside (i.e. viruses as mentioned), which I have found to be minimal so far. For one, I got a friend request from someone that I have not seen, talked to, e-mailed, or even given a thought of since sixth grade. In fact, it had been so long that I wasn't even sure that I knew her. I really had to think back to see if I could even remember her! In cases like this, there are one of two scenarios that come into play; (1) either they are just being nosy about you and want to see what you look like now, or what you are doing these days, or (2) you really made some impact on their lives, and although you didn't really realize it, they never forgot about you. I choose to hope that it's the second of those scenarios as to why someone would look me up after all of these years. I'm sure that I have sent friend requests to people that have thought the same of me too.

The other thing I found that was a downside was that sometimes there are things that you find out about people that you maybe didn't really want to know. I cannot even tell you how completely horrified I was to find out that my very first HUGE crush, first kiss, first broken heart...ended up GAY! It's not that I don't think the world of him, it was just a giant shock to view his profile, only to find that he is interested in men, has a boyfriend, and has pictures of himself with crossdressers (think To Wong Foo...). In hindsight, it does explain a few things, but I just can't even go there...

HORMONES!! It's been over six months now...

and STILL nothing has gone back to normal! I know, I know. They (the infamous "they") say that you should allow your body nine months to go back to the way it was before you were pregnant since it took nine months to get there (and these are the same people that make a big deal about the star's post-pregnancy bodies a week after the baby is born), but this is crazy!

First of all, there's the obvious... NOTHING is shaped the same. NOTHING!! I had heard that the boobs never go back to the way they were, and you will often drop a cup size after having a baby. Well I didn't drop a cup size, but I now need a reinforced, steel supported, underwire bra with 5 inch wide straps to get the girls rounded up and back at attention where they're supposed to be. I'm not one to condone plastic surgery, but since it wouldn't be putting anything in that doesn't belong there, I would consider having a lift in that area...

Then there's my wedding and engagement rings... I swelled up like a beach ball when I was pregnant (a little with Forrest, a LOT with Emma). My hands and feet were HUGE, which really didn't surprise me either. I had heard all of the stories, and I already swell some when it's hot, even when I'm not pregnant. When I was pregnant with Emma, I decided that I would buy a fake wedding ring in a bigger size that I could wear until after she was born. I didn't want to look like an unwed mother again, so I thought this was a good solution. Well, after I outgrew the first one, I bought the second fake ring that was TWO sizes bigger than my wedding band. By the end of my pregnancy, even THAT one didn't fit... So here I am, nearly seven months after the big event, and guess what? I'm still wearing the ring that's two sizes bigger! I can get my real rings on my finger, but they are STILL TIGHT!! Now the scale says that I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I guess that doesn't account for fat fingers.

At least my feet went back to normal. By the time Emma was born, I could only get my feet into one pair of hideous fake Crocs (in a men's size by the way), and anyone that knows me knows that I HATE Crocs! There should be an age limit (of say, ten) on them. No adult should be allowed to put them on and go out in public! But I digress... Did I mention that I couldn't wear any of my regular shoes until nearly three weeks after the birth, and that was with a diuretic for five days???

Okay, so I said the scale says the same as my pre-pregnancy weight, but there's also the matter of shape. Nothing is even shaped the same! I knew that my hips would be wider, but my RIBS?? I found this out after Forrest was born. We were going to some event where I would have to wear a formal dress. I had a whole closet full of them from various weddings, parties, etc. Rather than have to go buy another one, I thought I just get one of them out and wear that. Well, think again!! The dress still fit... well, sort of. It fit until I got the zipper to my rib cage, where it stopped and refused to go any higher! That's not fat people! That's bone! Now that dress fit before I ever had a baby, but scale or not, it didn't ever fit again!

Then there's the issue of my hair. It is falling out in buckets. Luckily, I have really thick hair, so it isn't noticable to anyone outside of my family (who have to live, completely grossed out, with my bathroom where I have been furiously trying to keep it swept up). It is falling out so much that it will actually totally clog the shower drain when I wash it in the mornings! The water can't even go down the drain because it is falling out so much! So I asked the hairdresser about it, and she said that it is perfectly normal for that to happen after you have undergone anesthesia. Okay, so again, that was nearly seven months ago... How long will this go on?

As if that's not enough, I sweat...ALL THE TIME!! Now I am one of the most cold-natured people you will ever meet. I'm cold all of the time! I joke that Chris is looking forward to me hitting menopause so that I will have hot flashes and a normal body temperature. But even when I'm sitting here freezing to death, I am still sweating. It is embarrasing, and it is going to ruin my clothes!! I can't STAND to sweat (unless I am exercising, and then and ONLY then, is it okay). I even keep a tube of deodorant in my desk drawer, just in case. So now, I have been forced to buy a tube of $11.50 "clinical strength" deodorant to prevent this from happening. This has really helped so far (not to the point that I think it's worth $11.50, but enough that I'll keep buying it). I'm just wondering when this will stop! This was another one of those wonderful things that happens to you when you're pregnant, but I haven't been pregnant in a long time, so why is this still going on???

There's more than just this, but it's not anything that I care to write about, or you would care to read about. There are just a few disgusting things that also go along with it, and I'll leave it at that...