HORMONES!! It's been over six months now...

and STILL nothing has gone back to normal! I know, I know. They (the infamous "they") say that you should allow your body nine months to go back to the way it was before you were pregnant since it took nine months to get there (and these are the same people that make a big deal about the star's post-pregnancy bodies a week after the baby is born), but this is crazy!

First of all, there's the obvious... NOTHING is shaped the same. NOTHING!! I had heard that the boobs never go back to the way they were, and you will often drop a cup size after having a baby. Well I didn't drop a cup size, but I now need a reinforced, steel supported, underwire bra with 5 inch wide straps to get the girls rounded up and back at attention where they're supposed to be. I'm not one to condone plastic surgery, but since it wouldn't be putting anything in that doesn't belong there, I would consider having a lift in that area...

Then there's my wedding and engagement rings... I swelled up like a beach ball when I was pregnant (a little with Forrest, a LOT with Emma). My hands and feet were HUGE, which really didn't surprise me either. I had heard all of the stories, and I already swell some when it's hot, even when I'm not pregnant. When I was pregnant with Emma, I decided that I would buy a fake wedding ring in a bigger size that I could wear until after she was born. I didn't want to look like an unwed mother again, so I thought this was a good solution. Well, after I outgrew the first one, I bought the second fake ring that was TWO sizes bigger than my wedding band. By the end of my pregnancy, even THAT one didn't fit... So here I am, nearly seven months after the big event, and guess what? I'm still wearing the ring that's two sizes bigger! I can get my real rings on my finger, but they are STILL TIGHT!! Now the scale says that I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I guess that doesn't account for fat fingers.

At least my feet went back to normal. By the time Emma was born, I could only get my feet into one pair of hideous fake Crocs (in a men's size by the way), and anyone that knows me knows that I HATE Crocs! There should be an age limit (of say, ten) on them. No adult should be allowed to put them on and go out in public! But I digress... Did I mention that I couldn't wear any of my regular shoes until nearly three weeks after the birth, and that was with a diuretic for five days???

Okay, so I said the scale says the same as my pre-pregnancy weight, but there's also the matter of shape. Nothing is even shaped the same! I knew that my hips would be wider, but my RIBS?? I found this out after Forrest was born. We were going to some event where I would have to wear a formal dress. I had a whole closet full of them from various weddings, parties, etc. Rather than have to go buy another one, I thought I just get one of them out and wear that. Well, think again!! The dress still fit... well, sort of. It fit until I got the zipper to my rib cage, where it stopped and refused to go any higher! That's not fat people! That's bone! Now that dress fit before I ever had a baby, but scale or not, it didn't ever fit again!

Then there's the issue of my hair. It is falling out in buckets. Luckily, I have really thick hair, so it isn't noticable to anyone outside of my family (who have to live, completely grossed out, with my bathroom where I have been furiously trying to keep it swept up). It is falling out so much that it will actually totally clog the shower drain when I wash it in the mornings! The water can't even go down the drain because it is falling out so much! So I asked the hairdresser about it, and she said that it is perfectly normal for that to happen after you have undergone anesthesia. Okay, so again, that was nearly seven months ago... How long will this go on?

As if that's not enough, I sweat...ALL THE TIME!! Now I am one of the most cold-natured people you will ever meet. I'm cold all of the time! I joke that Chris is looking forward to me hitting menopause so that I will have hot flashes and a normal body temperature. But even when I'm sitting here freezing to death, I am still sweating. It is embarrasing, and it is going to ruin my clothes!! I can't STAND to sweat (unless I am exercising, and then and ONLY then, is it okay). I even keep a tube of deodorant in my desk drawer, just in case. So now, I have been forced to buy a tube of $11.50 "clinical strength" deodorant to prevent this from happening. This has really helped so far (not to the point that I think it's worth $11.50, but enough that I'll keep buying it). I'm just wondering when this will stop! This was another one of those wonderful things that happens to you when you're pregnant, but I haven't been pregnant in a long time, so why is this still going on???

There's more than just this, but it's not anything that I care to write about, or you would care to read about. There are just a few disgusting things that also go along with it, and I'll leave it at that...