After the incident with the neighborhood boy, Chris and I had a long talk about kids and their behavior (this is making me think of old folks sitting around and griping about "the kids these days"). He said something that really bugged me. He said that it was our generation that's causing all of this. He was talking about how our parents didn't raise us this way, but yet, we're now parents of poorly behaved children who either don't care what we think, or we aren't teaching the difference between right and wrong. Our parents got married and stayed that way. Marriage was important, and it wasn't a commitment to be taken lightly. The thought that you could just walk away from it was never there. Our parents weren't afraid to discipline us either. If we were out of line, going to bed without a meal, or a spanking with a switch was never out of the question-it was understood. Manners were important, and being considerate of other people was expected. Now, a parent is ostracized for spanking, and it is altogether too common for a child to be living with a third version of a step-parent, and having half-sisters and brothers in four different households. What has happened here?? If our parents didn't raise us this way, where is all of this coming from? Why is our generation so self-centered, and completely falling apart??
I've seen a lot of this since Forrest started school. He was in daycare, but school was really the first place that I saw this happening. For starters, three years of daycare had NOTHING on one week of Kindergarten. He came home with a terrible attitude! All of the sudden, he was talking back to me, telling me no, and refusing to do anything that I asked of him. He also popped out a few curse words here and there, which I KNOW he didn't learn at home. I realize that he didn't know that he was saying anything bad because he would openly say them in front of me, but the minute I asked him where he heard that, he clammed up and said he couldn't remember. Then I found myself explaining to a five year old what some of those words mean. I was NOT prepared for that!
The worst thing that I have seen to date also occured while Forrest was in Kindergarten. There was the sweetest little girl in his class that year. I went to eat lunch with him one day, and she just latched on to me. She even held my hand as I walked them back to the classroom (which made Forrest a little jealous since I'm his mom)! I was working on a scrapbook project as a gift for the teacher, which required some assistance from the parents, most of whom were completely unresponsive. The day before I was to finish it, I got a call from the little girl's grandmother. She had found out about the scrapbook and was mad at her son for not helping out. She agreed to send me the photos that I needed of her granddaughter. While we were on the phone, I was telling her how sweet her granddaughter was, and how I just fell in love with her that day at school. Turns out that the little girl's parents are divorced, and her dad has custody of both her and her older sister (which makes you wonder how bad the mom is, when her ex-husband gets full custody of the girls). I think she was so taken by me because her mom was nowhere to be found. I mentioned that we would like to take her granddaughter with us to the aquarium sometime. Forrest was always wanting to bring a friend along, and I thought that might be fun.
Not long after the scrapbook project, we called them up and invited her along to the aquarium. Our season passes are for the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga, which is not exactly right around the corner! Her dad agreed to let us take her, so we picked her up at 9:00 on a Saturday morning. We were going to have her all day, until about 9:00 Saturday night. Keep in mind that when we picked her up, this was the first time that her dad had ever laid eyes on us.
We had a great day at the aquarium, but later in the evening, she started talking about spending the night with us. Now this was not in the plans, and we just told her that we might try to do that another time. While we were eating dinner, I asked her if she would like to call her dad (since he hadn't bothered to call and check on her all day...). She talked with him for a few minutes, and then asked if she could spend the night. I wasn't exactly prepared for her to do that, but I should have known better. The craziest part of the whole thing was that her dad AGREED to let her spend the night!! He had seen us for about two minutes when we picked her up that morning, and that was it! He didn't know anything about us, aside from Chris' cell phone number-not even where we live! He has just given us his five year old daughter for the last twelve hours, and is willing to let her spend the night at our house, and he doesn't even know us!! Again, we could have been pedophiles for all he knows! I am STILL horrified over this!
This really is our generation completely failing our children. I don't know how else to say it. I can't imagine dropping your child off with people that you don't even know, and leaving them all day, and never even calling to check on them. I have a hard time leaving Forrest outside, in front of our house, on our street, playing with his friends, when I can't be outside with him. I worry all of the time! There are so many really sick people out there, and a lot of them intend to harm children. I don't know if society is causing this influx of depraved individuals that will kidnap, rape and torture a child, but as a parent, it's my job to protect my children. I know that when I was a child, the world was a different place. We didn't have to worry about abduction, pedophiles, or child pornography. I was free to go to my neighbor's house and play all afternoon without my parents having to be there to make sure that nothing happened to me. I don't like having to explain to my son, who isn't even eight yet, that he can never talk to strangers, and that if we get separated in the store that he needs to go directly to a female store employee to find me. I don't like having to explain why he needs to find a female when that happens, nor do I know how to explain that. I hate that I can't let my son enjoy his childhood the same carefree way that I did.
Regardless, as a parent, it's my job to do these things! I don't enjoy having to do them, but it is a responsibility that I gladly accepted when I decided to become a mom. I have often said that becoming a parent should be the MOST selfish decision that you ever make. If you can't give up all of your "me time," the extra money, the freedom of being an individual, then you don't need to have children. Once a baby is born, it's no longer about you. I think so many of the members of my generation have forgotten that.
No comments:
Post a Comment